As a purveyor of sensual exploration I aim to both provide information to those seeking it and to offer new ideas to those open to them. My library is a cozy space where I invite the curious to take a peek at a world which may be unfamiliar…
One of my favorite recent arrivals is an erotic graphic novel, The Story of O. Beautifully illustrated by Italian artist Guido Crepax, it is an adaptation of French author and journalist Anne Desclos’ original novel.
O is a beautiful young Parisian fashion designer who enters a thrilling world of submission. Brought to the mysterious Chateaux du Roissy by her lover, she promises to obey his every command. A willing participant she submits to being chained, whipped, branded and blindfolded by strangers. While she is tied up and submissive to the sexual whims of her hosts, her permission to continue is consistently sought and given. Through her chains, O is a woman exploring her fantasies and in defying convention discovering her sexual freedom.
Commonly misunderstood, BDSM (derived from Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) is often viewed as misogynistic, encouraging abuse and the oppression of women. There are two important points to clarify here. Firstly ladies, you do not have to be the submissive! Being a dominant or a submissive is not gender specific. I must emphasize that the obeying of a partner in a role play scenario does not indicate an expectation to obey them unconditionally in the ‘real world’. Secondly, allowing yourself to be in such a vulnerable position is the highest expression of trust in a loving relationship. There is an erotic thrill in completely yielding to the desires of your partner. To submit requires faith, to dominate requires an intimate knowledge of your partners limits. There is no more hate here than in a candlelit dinner with flowers!
The motto in BDSM culture is ‘Safe, Sane and Consensual’. This exercise in trust and intimacy allows you to explore your boundaries, safe in the knowledge that with the right word the session will end. It is widely perceived that the dominant in these scenarios hold the power. However, as the submissive can cease play at any given moment, the power balance is actually equal. In writing The Story of O, Anne Desclos understood this. O is as much an active participant as those who whip and chain her, her sexual needs are being fulfilled as much as those who command her.
Whether you invest in a St. Andrews cross, spreader bars and cat o’ nine tails or a simple silky blindfold, it is a sublime way discover your boundaries in a healthy relationship.
As your Mistress, I command you to explore!