Anal sex is a topic that, whether you love it or loath it, triggers impassioned reactions. Many people abhor the act, vilifying it as both degrading for the receiver and unhygienic.
My mission is to de-mystify misconceptions and to put plainly the in and outs (pun intended!) of what, if done with Heart, can be a beautiful and loving experience.
For men, the appeal lies in the fact that the anus is smaller than the vagina, therefore creating a more pleasurable tactile experience. On the receiving end, the male prostate gland can be stimulated via the anus. Many men can orgasm from prostate stimulation alone. Heterosexual men need not feel left out, there are plenty of toys (like my friend Bob) to add to the fun! Women find that their G-Spot can often be easily stimulated during anal sex. This happens through indirect contact as only a thin membrane separates the G-Spot from the rectal cavity.
When properly stimulated, the anus is a welcoming host and will eagerly receive its guest! The more aroused a person is before penetration, the more accepting the anus will be. Foreplay needs to be slow, sensual and communicative. Tender kissing and lingering massages. Build up slowly to your comfort level and feel confident in embracing the experience.
The two main physical fears people have are that it will hurt and the potential for causing a mess on your Egyptian cotton sheets. The tissue in and around the anus is particularly sensitive and delicate. Because of this, careless penetration can be painful and even dangerous if healthy precautions are not adhered to. Women especially will avoid anal because of these reasons. Many women I have spoken with will say it was something they tried once but as their partner was too rough or they were not prepared it was an unpleasant experience and therefore unwilling to try it again.
Unlike the vaginal cavity, the rectal cavity does not produce fluids during sexual stimulation. Therefore you need lube, lots and lots of lube! I would recommend a lube with a thicker consistency. I carry a fabulous Sassy Bootylicious formula and a Sliquid Water based gel. Apply plenty of lube onto the finger/penis/toy before inserting and keep applying throughout if needed.
When it comes to intimacy women go to much trouble to be beautiful; waxing, scrubs, creams and so the idea of an untimely release hinders desires. Anal sex is definitely a situation where cleanliness is next to Godliness. Be a good host. It goes without saying that a thorough showering is a good idea but it is also considerate to eat healthily beforehand. Its not the sexiest phrase I’ve ever written but a healthy bowel movement (before showering) should be enough alleviate concerns. However, for the cautious it is always possible to cleanse more thoroughly with an anal douche an hour beforehand. Condoms are recommended as a safety precaution as the membrane in this area can be delicate.
Aside from physical concerns, negative social stereotypes are an impediment for many (which for me adds to the appeal!). Believe it or not but we carry emotions in our anus – it is a body part that cannot lie. Therefore if any part of you resists the idea muscles in your anus will remain tense. Whether justified or not, your fears need to be addressed. Whatever inhibitions you may have, it is essential to discuss them with your partner and to ensure that it is an experience you are truly open to. Anal is a sexual act that requires precautions, sensitivity and is only recommended for truly loving and respectful relationships. Because it is a delicate situation, you need to be able to trust your partner and ensure that your partner trusts you. Open communication is the first step to a pleasurable experience. You body will be more accepting of the idea if your mind is.
Recommended further reading:
‘Anal Pleasure and Health’ – by Jack Morin
‘The Ultimate guide to Anal Sex for Women’ – Tristian Taormino
Vancouver, BC V6H 3R9
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